Wednesday, April 18, 2012
I love that kids see the world fresh each day. They really don’t have all the labels and judgments we do.
I recall the time a second grade teacher was giving a lecture on diversity. She was showing pictures of families from different ethnic backgrounds. ”Here is a Latino family, here is a Japanese American family, and here is an African American family.”
One of the boys jumped up and exclaimed, “Mrs. McKenzie, Mrs. McKenzie…. Henry is African American!” He was so excited!
This white boy and his best friend of five years, who was black, up to that point didn’t notice or care about the difference in skin color. Wow, we teach differences, don’t we?
It seems to me that ninety-nine percent of who we are (our bones, digestion, fears, wants, needs, mortality, etc.) is similar. It seems like we adults spend a lot of time talking about the one percent that is different.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
On the train at the airport the other night, most of the travelers looked weary, tired, and drained, including me. We’re stressed, darn it! We’re tired and we just want to go home.
Then I glanced up at an elderly woman who was smiling… She was looking at a man who was making faces and smiling at a baby. So I was smiling because the woman was smiling because the man was smiling because the baby was smiling. I wonder if anyone saw me.
Also this week, I was shopping and saw a mother yelling at her child to stop yelling. (Wow, maybe I’ll yell at her!) Noticing the inclination, I approached her and pointed out what she was doing and what I felt like doing. She kind of smiled. (Kind of)
TRY THIS: For an entire day, notice other people’s actions and emotions and watch what happens inside of you. Are you quick to judge? Do you need them to be happy for you to be happy? Do we react to harshness with more harshness? Just explore how you react in your body, then watch how you respond. It is about becoming aware.
Send me an e-mail to let me know how it goes
Monday, April 9, 2012
A couple of years ago, my son, Charles, and I went camping and we had a blast! We hiked, swam in a river, built dams, jumped down piles of sand, fed alligators at an alligator farm, climbed rocks, whittled, rafted, buried people in the sand, got the people at the pool to play volleyball, taught a kid to fish, shared a meal with eight others, told stories at the campfire, made up three new car games, got a drum beat going in the car, built a bath at a hot springs, invented a game similar to Pictionary using raw rice, tried to spear fish, went to an alien sighting park, played tag, looked at stars, did the howling moon pee (howl when peeing in moonlight,) and made new friends.
The only thing that was on the agenda that weekend was camping. Everything else that happened… just happened. It is amazing what fun we can have when we’re open to what comes along and not have so many “agendas.” When we truly have fun with what’s in front of us, with what we have, with who we’re with, and with what’s going on right now, with no expectations of “how it should be,” there is nothing to be disappointed about. Someone once said that expectations are preconceived resentments. It makes sense.
A great sage once said, “Enlightenment is having no preferences.”
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Sometimes the best part of speaking is when a cell phone goes off and I get to the person soon enough to answer the phone myself. With a clip on microphone I can put the earpiece up to the mic and the whole audience is privy to our conversation.
A while back, while speaking with 800 mostly good ol’ boy superintendents of schools, a phone went off about four rows in. I got to it in time! On the other end was this superintendent’s high school aged son who I introduced myself to and began to interview. I asked “What does this group of leaders of education need to hear from your perspective?” It started there and the candidness and spontaneity of his responses were remarkable. (Another example of he had more to teach than I.)
After about seven minutes, before the end of the conversation I asked him what he loved about his dad. (Now his dad is sitting there with 800 of his peers, never expecting me to answer his phone, let alone ask his son relevant questions about what we could do to be better school superintendents, let alone this final question.) Without hesitation he says, “I got the best dad in the world. He has helped me and encouraged me, put up with me. I know that he loves me and I love him!” “Thanks for talking”, I said and returned the phone to the man who now has a couple tears coming down.
Did I mention, this is a group of good ol’ boys? I asked him if his son had ever said that before. “No,” he said.
Why do we wait to let people know what they mean to us? What do you love about your friends and family? When’s the last time you’ve told them?
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
A few years back on a multi-day raft trip in Western Colorado around the campfire one night we were all talking about the one most powerful thing that helps you to stay present and live fully TODAY. We all shared insights and tips, from living as if today were your last day on earth to doing things that require you to be courageous. One fellow shared with us the mantra that he used to help him stay present in all that he does. “May What I’m doing right now be the most important thing I could possibly be doing”, no-matter what he was doing. Driving, Listening, washing dishes, on the phone with someone, laying down for a rest- “May what I’m doing right now……”
I don’t know about you, but many times I find myself doing something, while thinking of something else. I could be doing…, I should be doing…, If I was at bla bla, etc., and not being mindful of what I’m doing at the moment. This mantra has helped me to stay more present in all that I do.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Last week I spoke at the Colorado Press Association State Conference where the Colorado Legislators were invited for the luncheon as well as 6 students from Overland School who received an award for journalism.
It’s always fun to see how a different group of folks can change “the way we always do things around here.” Prior to the luncheon I met up with a couple students and their teachers in the lobby outside the ballroom where we formed an informal circle just chatting away. Before you knew it, we started some spontaneous games in the circle leading up to a rap circle. The energy was building and some of the journalists and legislators were drawn to the circle and we welcomed them in. (Although some refused the offer to join the fun as this isn’t such “normal” behavior at a professional conference.)
After lunch, during my speech, I asked for a volunteer to come up and help with an activity. “It’s going to be fun, you’ll be supported, and you’ll learn something new.” Of the 250 or so folks in the room, all the High School students’ hands went up but just a few other adult hands went up.
A “teachable moment” for sure. Here we are adult role models for these high school students and they are the ones willing to try something new. They are the ones that aren’t as self-conscious as we, they are willing to have fun, willing to get out of the box, and not so concerned about the outcome.
We adults also can have fun, not be so self-conscious, be spontaneous, take risks, learn more…. we just have to put our hand up.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Last week, in Mississippi working with an Insurance group all day, we got to talking about courageous conversations. You know, those ones that take tons of courage yet can be transformative when they occur.
One man (I’m guessing mid-50′s) got present to his estranged relationship with his parents and with tears welling up in his eyes said to me he was going to call them apologize for his part and let them know he loves them. I asked when. He said tomorrow.
I asked if he had a phone and if they were home. He said yes. I suggested he do it now rather than later. Thinking (over analyzing) can get in the way of action and his heart was open, so no time like the present. He did, and 5 minutes later when he returned I asked him to share his experience with the group and it blew them away. They had been estranged for years and both sides were waiting for the other side in resentment and this courageous man made one bold, sincere statement… I’m sorry, I love you…. and his sharing with the group today was the best, most transformative part of the day…. for all of us!
What could you accomplish in 20 seconds of bold, courageous, conversation? Think about the people in your life. Think about the decision to say firmly yes or firmly no. Think about the person you’ve been thinking of calling but haven’t in years. 20 seconds is all it could take.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
A couple weeks ago I returned to Columbine High for another assembly. The students and teachers are awesome! Lots of great energy in the gym! (At the end a great teacher leads them all, full on… “We are….” then the students go…. “COLUMBINE”, back and forth, building energy until you would think the roofs coming off the gymnasium.)
After the assembly Frank DeAngeles and I sat in his office awhile talking about what has transpired in the years since the tragedy.
Here’s what makes Frank an awesome principal:
1. He is still there. Since the tragedy he has been there to be the stability for the Columbine family. Could’ve left… sure, but he didn’t.
2. He has a purpose (helping the kids) that is bigger than his personality, Was it hard on him personally? Of Course, but there was a purpose – to hold his school together. (He committed himself to stay at Columbine at least until those in kindergarteners at the time, 13 years ago, would graduate from high school.)
3. He loves the kids at his school (and tells them!)
4. He leads firmly but from his heart. Truly a servant leader.
5. A great role model. Emotionally honest. I will never forget Frank being able to shed a couple tears in front of the students. That is what every stoic adolescent male can use more of, a male role model that is emotionally honest. By his example, he gives them permission to feel their feelings and not repress them.
6. His willingness to empower others. The kids at his school respect him and he respects them.
Frank DeAngeles has truly gone forward, one day at a time, with integrity, perseverance, a huge heart, a great sense of humor, and a deep sense of purpose…. that is why he is an inspiration to me!
Monday, May 30, 2011
We’ve all heard about the very tough economic times in Michigan-high unemployment, loss of businesses and a high foreclosure rate of homes-a perfect opportunity for a motivational speaker!!
Well, I was brought in by RE/MAX of Michigan to lift spirits and discuss strategies that could be used immediately by the RE/MAX Realtors. Let’s face it they have a tough job and frankly as a motivational speaker; I’ve got my work cut out as well. Here are some of the key points we discussed:
- We are afraid of feeling completely out of control. As adults we have a tendency to focus on all of the things we can’t control; bad economy, will clients like me, am I interesting enough? I love to remind my audiences to focus on the things they can control-remember as children we found ways to solve problems and not focus on the things we couldn’t do!
- We will have failures, they may be embarassing-get over it! As children, we got right back on the bike and found ways to overcome obstacles.
- Find a Purpose bigger than you. Focus on your family, helping your friends, how about a contribution to the Ronald McDonald House. Focus on your passion!!
We had a great meeting and I want to thank Re-max of Michigan for allowing me to speak to your group. If you would like more information about me and my programs please view my motivational speaker profile at LinkedIn.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Recently I came across an article in Psychology Today called How to Be a Motivational Speaker. The author was Chris Guillebeau and he makes a very interesting point:
But the thing is….how should I put it…the whole motivational speaker branding doesn’t give a good first impression. It’s old-school at the best of times, and just plain awkward the rest of the time.
He goes on to say that we all enjoy motivation and inspiration. He reads Runner’s World every month not because I need any help running but because of the inspiring profiles they print! Excellent point!!
He interviewed a motivational speaker who told him:
You can’t just be a motivational speaker. No one likes that crap. What you should do is be passionate about something. Show up and talk about something you give a damn about. Your passion will be motivation in itself.
I couldn’t agree more. Many meeting planners hire me as a humorous motivational speaker. They are looking for a motivational speaker but they also want a humorous motivational speaker. Meeting planners and audiences today want humor as part of a presentation. You can deliver some pretty serious messages of change when delivered with a good dose of humor! It’s very important when using humor to be certain that it’s pertinent to your audience. This requires a good deal of background work on the organization but it is time very well spent.
It’s a privilege to give presentations and workshops as a humorous motivational speaker but that comes with a good deal of responsibility to the company and the audiences. Humor must be in good taste and facilitate the message of change. Good luck to all of you aspiring motivational speakers!
